Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Ex Factor

You know that great guy who just isn't right for you, but when you find out later that he is getting married and appears to be insanely happy, you are happy for him? He’s no longer the dreaded ex at that point. He’s a super nice guy that you dated once upon a time. Keep in mind, “ex” and “super nice” are not normally words I use in the same sentence. But they do exist, in some parallel universe.

Take High School Boyfriend Guy. I dated him when I was a junior and he was a senior, and we ate sno cones every single day. We had a great time, he left for college, and that was the end of it. Except for a lunch many years later, we completely lost touch. He was, however, such a nice guy that when I found out he was marrying what was rumored to be a sweet girl, I was happy for him.

And then you have In The Closet Gay Guy, who left me for a dude. He and the dude were best friends, and I always thought something was strange about the way they chased each other around the house with a twisted up dish towel, trying to pop the other one in the legs or other various body parts. Well where there is smoke… I found out years later that he married a woman and they are doing well! It’s like the mystery of the sphinx, when you think about it.

It can go either way, really. You can be happy for them or you can pity the girl (or guy…) who ends up with your ex.

Tonight I started thinking about rebounds. I am going to be one of these girls one day. I will either be one-half of a couple who everyone is happy for because he is such a great guy, or I’ll be one-half of a couple who is an inside joke to tons of people. I will either get lots of “So great to meet you! You’re such a lucky girl!", or I’ll get sneers at parties and tons of pity. But is it possible that guys aren’t great in everyone’s eyes? Maybe it was a messy breakup and his image will forever be tainted, even if she is the one who screwed it up. We can’t know for sure. Or maybe he really is a douchebag.

Maybe some folks aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with. And that would create animosity with the people who aren’t wild enough to run with them.

Guess it just goes to show you… one woman's Titanic is another woman's Love Boat.

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