Bwoston

Bwoston (as I will forever pronounce it.... just read it out loud. See? That's how they talk) was GREAT! Here is a recap, with pictures. :-)

I left at 4:00 am for the airport, flight went off without a hitch, except for the middle-aged weirdo that I was lucky enough to sit next to on the plane. He got up to let me in, so I could get to my window seat, and said "I guess I'll get up so you don't have to crawl all over me." So I jokingly replied, "Yeah, good idea. Don't want it to get awkward just yet!" And he said "It would only be awkward for you."

Ew.

Way to make it AWKWARD, Dude. Needless to say, I leaned toward the window and promptly fell asleep and stayed that way until we landed.

The cab ride from the airport was interesting, to say the least. My cab driver was a lady from the Dominican Republic. Of course I'm interested in other people's native habitats, so I asked what it is like in the D.R. She replied "Oh we have the nicest bitches in my country. Beautiful bitches. " I thought long and hard, and then replied "Oh! The beaches are gorgeous huh?" To which she replied "Yes! You haven't seen a bitch until you've seen a Dominican Republic bitch." Okay, I'll take her word for it.

I met my folks downtown at the hotel, and we spent the entire first day walking around Boston. The Freedom Trail is AMAZING. Lots of great history. Allow me to deviate from the humorous blog-writing for just a moment to say that I truly respect these few guys who stood up against England to fight for freedom and fight for what they believed in, and WON. Amazing. And thank you, to the Patriots and to all soldiers today. What would we do without you?

So here are some cool things I saw in Downtown Bwoston:

GRAVEYARD SMACK-DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF DOWNTOWN: HANCOCK, FRANKLIN, SAM ADAMS AND PAUL REVERE ARE BURIED HERE.

THE BEAN TOWN PUB: WHERE YOU
CAN SIT AND ENJOY A COLD SAM ADAMS.

WHILE LOOKING AT A COLD SAM ADAMS.

Really, his gravestone is immediately outside
this bar's window.

YOU KNOW THE FAIRY TALE LADY,

MOTHER GOOSE!

SHE REALLY EXISTED! AND APPARENTLY SHE LIVED IN BWOSTON.

(Note: I'm not just assuming this is her, there was actually a plaque next to this grave that told me so...)

STAND IN OPPOSITION. AND, DANNY DOING JUST THAT. :)

STOPPED BY CHEERS.

BY THE WAY, THIS WAS FALSE ADVERTISING. I'M 100% CERTAIN THEY DIDN'T KNOW MY NAME IN THERE. TALK ABOUT DISAPPOINTING...

HERE ARE THE OLD STONE STREETS IN DOWNTOWN. THIS IS OUTSIDE PAUL REVERE'S HOUSE. AS ONE OLD GUY NEXT TO ME APTLY PUT IT, "I WOULDN'T WANT TO WALK DOWN THIS STREET DRUNK!" WORD.

HERE IS PAUL REVERE'S STATUE, WITH THE STEEPLE BEHIND HIM THAT HELD THE LANTERNS ("ONE IF BY LAND, TWO IF BY SEA"). THIS CHURCH IS STILL AN ACTIVE EPISCOPAL CHURCH, VERY COOL.

Our sightseeing curiosity satisfied, we headed back to the hotel and then out to Jacob Wirth, a delicious German restaurant, where we loaded up on jagerschnitzel and apple streudel.

The next morning, we got up super early so we could catch the train to go up north. I took too long fixing my hair, so we literally stepped on the train as it was rolling away. Phew! One hour north took us to Rockport, a quaint seaside town, where we had a great breakfast and took in the sights.

HERE WE ARE AT BREAKFAST.

THE HAAH-BAH (harbor)

I WAS REALLY DIGGING THIS LITTLE GNOME. I WOULD HAVE TAKEN HIM HOME WITH ME IF I COULD.

THE BEACH!!

MY FOLKS; ME AND MOMMA

IT WAS A SUNNY 40 DEGREES AND OFFICIALLY THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER WORN A COAT, HAT, SCARF AND GLOVES ON THE BEACH.

IT DOESN'T GET ANY MORE QUAINT THAN THIS.
ROCKPORT LOOKS LIKE IT IS STRAIGHT OUT OF A MOVIE OR A NOVEL.

WE THEN HIT THE TRAIN TO HEAD DOWN TO SALEM. HOME OF THE WITCHES. WHAT A COOL PLACE.

MY MOM AND I BEING WITCHES IN FRONT OF THE SALEM WITCH MUSEUM. AT LEAST, WE WERE DOING WHAT WE THINK WITCHES MIGHT DO WHEN THEY PUT A SPELL ON SOMEBODY. HAHA

CROW HAVEN CORNER, THE HOME OF LAURIE, THE "OFFICIAL WITCH OF SALEM" WHERE SHE MIXES UP HER POTIONS AND HERBS. I AM NOW THE PROUD OWNER OF A LOVE POTION (YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT) THAT I AM TO CARRY ON ME AT ALL TIMES, TO BRING MY PURE LOVE TO ME (LOL). SUPER COOL PLACE.

Next up was the House of Seven Gables, which is what inspired Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel of the same name. Old house, cool hidden staircase, lots of old trinkets and furniture. All in all, a neat little historic place.

I'M KNOCKING ON THE DOOR OF THE HOUSE OF SEVEN GABLES, AND HERE ALSO IS A PICTURE OF MY FOLKS AND ME IN THE GARDENS OVERLOOKING THE HAAHBAH (HARBOR).

Back on the train to head into downtown Boston for St. Patrick's Day festivities. We ate at the amazing Union Oyster House, where we had chowder and lobster. It was excellent.

AFTER MUCH ST. PATRICK'S DAY CHEER (AND BEER), WE CAUGHT MOMMA HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH A STATUE. SHE'S SUCH A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY. THE FUNNY THING IS, HE LOOKS LIKE HE IS REALLY LISTENING TO HER.

GREAT TRIP. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND BWOSTON!

Till next time. XO Dana

Turns out I was even more not that into him.

After a three-week internet outage hiatus, I'm back.

My latest blog, "He's Just Not That Into ME?!" created quite the buzz. I received so many comments and I am thankful and blown away (and very flattered) that you are reading my ridiculous point of view. This means more to me than you know.

The most interesting reactions, however, were from the guys I have dated (and even some that I have never dated) who recognized something in themselves and were dying to know if I had mentioned them in my blog.

First came Now Family Man Guy. He admitted that he was fine with me being a better bass player than he was (which is still up for debate). Rest assured, he was not the one I wrote about. No, the moron I wrote about who was just not that into me because of my mad bass-playing skills treated our one mutual interest in a musical instrument as the hinge on the door to eternal happiness. Everything rode on our one thing in common. Guess what, Marginally-Talented Guy - I blew you away on the bass, I still do, and I always will. I hope you and your Lady Fender have a nice time together. In your living room, with your tiny amp, alone. You'll cross my mind the next time I'm on stage in front of tons of people, rocking it out.

Are you Gay? Guy did not respond to me personally. In fact, it appears that his sister reads my blog and she immediately sent me a message. Although I learned that he is married now (to a woman...) I stand by my theory. He was able to tell when another guy was good-looking, even though straight men claim this is a humanly impossible feat for men to do. He dressed better than me. He shaved more areas of his body than I do. He loved art deco furniture. And although it was nice that he noticed when I had extra body in my hair or when my shoes had recently been polished, I am going to go on the record and say that I am now only dating manly men who don't ask me to accompany them to the antique mall to search for the perfect runners for their end tables.

Spoiled Rich Kid Guy reacted in his un-apologetic, North Dallas way. He reminded me that I let a good thing go, since his daddy's company is doing so well and he works some bullshit desk job there. Unfortunately for him, I am not interested in a life that consists of bad facelifts, shallow conversation with people who secretly loathe you and going to church only to show off your new outfit. Oh, and for the last time - the only way you are getting your diamond earrings back is if you pry them from my cold, dead fingers. So stop asking. Besides, I consider them my consolation prize for putting up with your preppy self for so long.

With regard to Exotic Foreign Guy, prepare yourself for the comforting news. He is not insensitive after all! It turns out he did not ditch me for my reproductive issues; in fact he was just not that into me because my hair is too short. Well isn't that the silver lining to this whole situation? Guess what, "In My Country" Guy - maybe I'm just not that into someone who has such an affinity for scarves and speedos.

Tight Jeans Guy actually apologized for his actions, so I am appreciative. And although I will not go out with him again (because I do love alcohol and will continue to drink for the rest of my days), I have nothing sarcastic to say about him anymore. Thank you for admitting you were a jackass and you're welcome for not publicly listing your name in my blog. No one knows your true identity. Except all my friends.

I also got a good laugh from some of my friends who reminded me of guys from my dating past who I just wasn't that into for some reason or another.

There was Could Be a Classmate of My Father's Guy. I thought I was coming to a business dinner meeting at Del Friscos. Turns out, everyone had "cancelled" and it was just old dude and me in this nice restaurant. I'm a smart girl and it did not take me long to realize that I was on a premeditated, sneaky date. I've never been so offended. Of course I left as soon as I ate a yummy expensive meal (I'm not dumb!) and never returned his calls. I even changed the committee I was on that he and I shared. Although he was successful, distinguished and he ordered wine in French, I was just not that into Mr. AARP for many reasons, including the fact that he tended to talk to me like I was a child. Later I realized that he could have been mistaking me for one of his kids.

There was World Revolves Around Sports Guy. It wasn't enough for him to watch them on tv; he had to play in every league known to man. Sitting and relaxing was not an option with this freak. Every hour of the day had to be taken up some form of physical exertion to the point of sweat and exhaustion. I love working out, I love being in shape and I love breaking a sweat just like the next girl. But I just wasn't that into his extreme love of the game. Dang it, sometimes I just want to sit on the couch, eat cheese dip and watch Lifetime movies. If you can't get on board with that then keep moving, Mister.

I've been striking out for years, enough to know what I want and what I will run from in 2 seconds flat. I know they are out there - the ones who are polar opposites of the guys in my blogs. Maria and Megan of SimplyShe put it best:

"Really Kinda Regular Guy: He eats cereal. He loves to grill. And he still hangs with the same friends he's had since college. When they're together it's all sports, work and highway directions. And he's easy going. He really enjoys playing with dogs and kids. But he hates to go shopping with you. It's about as much fun for him as carrying change in his pocket. But he's sweet. He swears he got the Victoria's Secret catalog subscription for you. And he prefers being in a relationship. But doesn't feel the need to rush into things. Or even talk about them, since he thinks everything is fine the way it is. Because he likes having relationship talks as much as he likes cats."

Till next time. XO Dana